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Success and happiness in life is not one-pointed. There is more to life than a good career and social status. That is external success which is needed to some extent. One needs good relationships and internal fulfilment. Let us discuss some key elements that can lead to holistic and sustainable happiness in life.
R-Resilience
Duality is the reality of life. There is success and failure, profit and loss and honor and dishonor. And no one even the powerful, popular and prosperous are an exception to this. Accepting this as a reality of life gives us the ability to deal with this duality. In every situation, we can try to learn, grow and improve. If we learn something from failure, we will be saved from depression and gain hope In success, if we learn something, we will be saved from overconfidence. It is said – bhogena punyam kusalena papam [SB 7.10.13]. In order to be successful, we need to become expert in managing our failures. Caring and candid mentors can help us a great deal in this regard.
R – Regulation
There are different aspects of our existence – physical (body), emotional (mind), intellectual (intelligence) and spiritual (atma). If we only have a one-sided definition of success and growth at the cost of others, there will be imbalance and incompleteness. When there is a holistic growth taking care of all aspects of life, there will be completeness and fulfilment. In this we can avoid lot of unnecessary misery caused due to imbalanced growth.
yuktähära-vihärasya
yukta-ceñöasya karmasu
yukta-svapnävabodhasya
yogo bhavati duùkha-hä [BG 6.17]
He who is regulated in his habits of eating, sleeping, recreation and work and who practices yoga can mitigate all material pains.
R – Relationships
Everyone of us have an innate need to love and be loved. We need an object of love where in we can invest our desires to serve, thoughts and emotions. In self-centeredness, desires, thoughts and emotions become centered on one’s own enjoyment. The happiness through self-centerd enjoyment is very limited and can potentially result in vices of lust, anger, greed, pride, envy and illusion. But happiness through other-centeredness is very fulfilling and long lasting. The importance of fulfilling relationships is emphasized in the following verse –
nāsti buddhir-ayuktasya na chāyuktasya bhāvanā
na chābhāvayataḥ śhāntir aśhāntasya kutaḥ sukham [BG 2.66]
Lack of fulfilling relationship leads to lack of clarity. When there is no clarity, there is no coherence among emotions.When there is no coherence among emotions, there is no peace. When there is no peace, there is no happiness.
R – Relish
Every one of us is gifted with an innate talent and interest. We have the potential to contribute through that talent and grow in the field. We can grow in that field with least difficulty. We can find a natural fulfillment and sense of contribution while pursuing such a career. We need to find a work that is aligned with our talents and interests. This is beneficial for both us and the society. If we are engaged otherwise, it will be unhealthy for us as well as the society.
sreyän sva-dharmo vigunah
para-dharmät sv-anushtithat
sva-dharme nidhanaà sreyah
para-dharmo bhayävaha [BG 3.35]
It is better to perform ones own duties even if in a faulty way, than to perform others’ duties albeit very well. Destruction in the course one’s duties is beneficial. Performing others’ duties is full of danger.